April 28, 2012
For in many dreams and in many words there is emptiness. Rather, fear God.
Ecclesiastes 5:7
March 23, 2012
Need of grace.

Need of grace.

March 23, 2012
A new day with His mercies… (Taken with instagram)

A new day with His mercies… (Taken with instagram)

March 19, 2012
Christian affections are like Mary’s precious ointment that she poured on Christ’s head, that filled the whole house with a sweet odor. That was poured out of an alabaster box; so gracious affections flow out to Christ out of a pure heart. That was poured out of a broken box; until the box was broken, the ointment could not flow, nor diffuse its odor; so gracious affections flow out of a broken heart. Gracious affections are also like those of Mary Magdalene (Luke 7 at the latter end), who also pours precious ointment on Christ, out of an alabaster broken box, anointing therewith the feet of Jesus, when she had washed them with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head. All gracious affections that are a sweet odor to Christ, and that fill the soul of a Christian with a heavenly sweetness and fragrancy, are broken-hearted affections. A truly Christian love, either to God or men, is a humble broken-hearted love. The desires of the saints, however earnest, are humble desires. Their hope is a humble hope; and their joy, even when it is unspeakable, and full of glory, is a humble broken-hearted joy, and leaves the Christian more poor in spirit; and more like a little child, and more disposed to a universal lowliness of behavior. [jonathan edwards]
March 15, 2012

because I'm incredibly prideful.

March 14, 2012
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.
Men of low degree are only vanity and men of rank are a lie; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than breath.
Do not trust in oppression and do not vainly hope in robbery; if riches increase, do not set your heart upon them.
Psalm 62:8-10
March 10, 2012
The consciousness that we are alike in our need of redemption is a liberating one. For there will be times when you find yourself accusing, criticizing, resenting. You begin, almost without realizing that you are doing it, to make a mental list of offenses, anticipating the day when some straw will break the camel’s back and you can recite the whole list, sure to add at the end ‘and another thing….!’ But you will find yourself disarmed utterly, and your accusing spirit transformed into loving forgiveness the moment you remember that you did, in fact, marry only a sinner, and so did he. It’s grace you both need.
Elisabeth Elliot
February 28, 2012

r.i.p.

I can’t help but pause a little whenever someone says/writes/posts “R.I.P. so and so….”

Because the obvious question is, are they really resting in peace right now?

I think some people would just prefer to leave it alone and not think about the reality of what it would mean if the said deceased was actually not resting in peace. I think most people would just prefer to tell me to stop being so morbid and pessimistic and to focus on more cheerful things.

But..I think I have to, NEED to think about these things. It reminds me that life is short and that eternity is very, very real. It sobers me up when I find myself struggling through so much of the temporary things in this life, expecting them to give me purpose and fulfillment…only to remember that these too will fade into dust.

I need to think about these things because it causes me to live this life differently.

February 25, 2012

wish i could afford this!

February 20, 2012

http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/blogs/2012/02/20/5-things-infertile-couples-want-others-to-know/

reminder.

January 24, 2012
Only in obedience can we discover the great joy of the will of God.
Sinclair Ferguson
January 21, 2012
O children of God! death hath lost its sting, because the devil’s power over it is destroyed…It is sweet to die; to lie upon the breast of Christ… And you that have lost friends, or that may be bereaved, sorrow not as those who are without hope. What a sweet thought the death of Christ brings us concerning those who are departed! They are gone, my brethren; but do you know how far they have gone? The distance between the glorified spirits in heaven and the militant saints on earth seems great; but it is not so. We are not far from home.” C.H.S.
December 2, 2011

failure.

Today I feel like the biggest failure ever.

I called into work.

Felt completely unprepared for my test.

Argued and got angry at someone who was just trying to help.

Got angry at another person who was just trying to help.

Something I tried really hard to avoid came true.

I felt hopeless and even more burdened.

I dont think I ever really felt the weight of my responsibilities until today. 

I feel overwhelmed, stressed and I’m trying really hard to keep everything under water.

But it is that stupid imagery where you’re trying to keep a million corks all underwater -it’s impossible and there is always bound to be something that pokes up and eventually, you just get frustrated and just letting everything explode.

That was my day today.

——

So in light of THAT, I’m going to list what I’m thankful for:

1. I’m thankful that despite all these issues and flaws and sins, I have a God who actually extended His grace to me so that I am forever saved and I actually have HEAVEN to look forward to. I hope I can eventually live a life worthy of this…so far I’m doing a horrible job.

2. I’m thankful for my mom. I see the power of God and the strength in obedience in her faith. It’s amazing how much she has grown and how much she desires to follow God, after years of being completely oblivious about Him. I hope I can humble myself and serve her as much as she has me.

3. I’m thankful for my boyfriend. Because he is patient with me, especially patient, during this semester. I hope I can live up to that.

4. I’m thankful for sisters I can turn to. There are not that many that I can readily turn to, but the ones I can, they are truly treasures to me. I hope I can be a good sister to them too.

5. I am thankful for my brother and my dad - they are the constant testing of my faith and the genuine-outward-expression-testers. In other words, they are the ones that truly refine my faith my testing me. Without them, I would assume that I am without bitterness, totally patient, humble and sacrificial. When I’m with them, all my real ugliness comes out and for that I’m THANKFUL - because it shows me EXACTLY what I need to work on. I’m also thankful for their everlasting support of me…I am so underserving of them as my family.

I have so much to be thankful for. I am here just really humbled and unable to really do anything except thank God….and to repent. To repent of my selfishness and my entitlement. 

God, I am so sorry. I allowed my mind to become clouded with the thoughts of the enemy and the temptations of my heart - that I DESERVED understanding of others, that I should DESERVE a high grade, that I should DESERVE this, that, everything.

I was completely selfish, utterly BLINDED - I saw the things in others that were all clearly in ME first. Father there is nothing in this world that could compare to Your holiness and perfection yet Christ had to suffer. He had to be the one to endure all the injustices. He endured the most deprivation. If the world was based on giving what people deserve, I deserve NOTHING and You deserve it ALL.

Yet when You came down, You had nothing, You asked for nothing and You BECAME nothing. Because of that, I, who deserve NOTHING, now I have ALL.

In light of that, what can I say? Lord, I repent of my selfish words, my unclean lips that praised you last Sunday, yet today cursed others for their so-called injustices against me. 

God, open my eyes to see this world as You see it - that it is a temporary world that has been tainted by sin. Your creation, marred because of sin. Help me to see that there is NOTHING in this world that can take away the JOY and the FULLNESS that I have in YOU. Nothing can take it away and nothing in the world can COMPARE. So in any and every circumstance, help me to praise YOU, Lord. That when things become harder to bear, that I’ll lift my hands and rejoice even louder STILL, because You are a God who is sovereign over all things and gives purpose to every action, reaction, creation, stills…

A humble heart and a contrite spirit, Lord I truly pray for this. I repent of the selfishness, the wanting, the longing and lusting after things that are absolutely meaningless compared to You. If You need to strip everything away so that I can see You clearly…Lord, I want it.

Lord, you take the weak and foolish things and shame the world. You take the broken and the things that are not. Take my failures Lord, and make it so that I will glorify You through them.

October 22, 2011
Do any of us find decays of grace prevailing in us; deadness, coldness, lukewarmness, a kind of spiritual stupidity and senselessness coming upon us? Do we find an unreadiness unto the exercise of grace in its proper season and the vigorous acting of it in duties of communion with God? And would we have our souls recovered from these dangerous diseases? Let us assure ourselves there is no better way for our healing and deliverance, yea no other way but this alone, namely, the obtaining a fresh view of the glory of Christ by faith, and a steady abiding therein. Constant contemplation of Christ and his glory putting forth its transforming power unto revival of all grace, is the only relief in this case.
[John Owen via Of First Importance]
October 22, 2011
In the last analysis, we sin not because we have to but because we want to.
Henry Jacobsen